Survived By Lyrics...
Punch and Get Out

(Ralph from Rye writes about the ladies all the time so for a little change of pace I wrote a song about/for him. There was always this silly rumor that maybe we were dating but it was better than that, he was an ear and an anchor when there was none to be found. Thank you Ralph. )

I've got a beautiful secret (3x)
I've got a beautiful secret (3x)
A heart on the outside is dangerous (But)
You show me yours
And I'll show you mine
This is mine

Archway Out

(When friendship goes bad.)

Flash a bill
I'll be your best friend
Yeah, I could use
One like you

Hold my hand
Act like you like me
Yeah, I could use
One like you

Scratch off five
Each time you trick me
Use your fingers
On my back

Butterfly Kick

(Anyone who deals with panic/anxiety knows exactly what this song is about)

I am taking
Big gulps of air
And swallowing it down
Like pills
Forcing it down deep

Schools of fish swim, wildly
Schools of fish swim, bashing inside
These are heavier than butterflies

Schools of fish swim, frantically
Schools of fish swim, bashing inside
These are heavier than butterflies

Cover Letter

(At the time I felt like if I were to come as a human with a cover letter, this is what mine would say. Low self esteem anyone?)

If I told you
Who I really was
I could not prevent
The ultimate disappointment

Move on
There is nothing more for you to see here
Trace me in chalk and let me be

I would hate for
For you to know the truth
And I would do anything
To hide myself from you

I beg you to, expect nothing
I beg you to, know nothing of me

Spot Check and

(Sometimes the world feels like its filled with robots. Sometimes I think I have too much feeling inside me. Sometimes these two feelings clash and you have this song)

They question why
How could it be
So important
Haven't they at least
Felt it once

You know, feelings
This is what makes me human

You fight back tears
And breathing is so hard
Pins and needles
Hands clench to fists
Heart in your throat

You know, feelings
This is what makes me human

Lux Perpetua

(This is named for a religious candle I had purchased due to its nice packaging. I would watch it burn down to nothing as I lay awake at night wondering why I was dating a person who could cause me more pain than I knew what to do with. Well that's not completely true, I guess I wrote this song. "I'm starving, if my heart had ribs" is still my favorite line from any of our songs)

Every second, to minute
You burned, and I counted
I'm screaming, but you're not listening
I'm not o.k., I'm more than feeling down
I'm screaming but you're not listening
I'm starving, if my heart had ribs

All my strong has blown right out
Dart inside, dart inside and lie
Lie down

Jet Spin

(Jet Spin is a terrifying amusement park ride near the Space Needle in Seatle. After my brother Peter died I felt like I was on this ride all the time. Mind you I never actually stepped foot on the real ride....I ironically feared it too much. The second line of this song "I'm so sick of good-byes" is actually a line in a Robert Frank photo that I felt a strong infinity to. I think in that particular photo he was showing his feeling of devastation after his daughter passed away. I swear to you, I can not look at this photo or think of it without tears stinging my eyes in 10 seconds flat. This song by no means does his photo justice but perhaps they run parallal in different universes)

Burying more than the past
I'm so sick of good-byes
The real kind
More ghosts to haunt me
Everywhere I go

I still feel, but you're gone
There I go again

Jet Spin spinning
Jet Spin spinning round
I'm so sick of this ride
Let me off now please
No one lasts long here

Pirate Denial

(Darin's Insight on Pirate Denial - I like this song, not because of the song itself per say or it's strange name (which I'll get to), but more for the circumstances that it was created under. We took a break in recording and started drinking some beers and what-not. In the studio there were various musical instruments lying about and at some point we each picked up one of them and just started to play, chris was playing the opening notes, i remember that, the 'dum-dummm' and we just started messing around on top of it. This lasted for about a minute or so when Jay, the engineer, told us to stop and that he wanted to record us with whatever amount of tape he had left and ran into the recording room... you can actually here him say, 'Rolling...' in the beginning of the song.

Chris started with the opening notes and we all just came in, completely improv, and that's why, though maybe silly, I really like this song because it was a completely spontaneus moment caught on tape. We all just fed off of what the other person was doing. Some parts come together so well, you'd think it was planned, and the song actually ends because the tape ran out right on that note...totally crazy, like it was meant to happen...

As for the name, there was a photo in the studio of a band, and for some reason, the way one of the members was standing, his shirt and the position of his body, you could see a subliminal pirate's face... it was really strange...either tracy or chris was having trouble seeing it...me and brian could, but whoever couldn't see it we were saying had a case of 'Pirate Denial' heheh...and that's the name. A photo of 'pirate denial' exists and if I locate it I'll post it for you to see so you know we're not crazy.


Chris - Low Keyboards Rhythm
Tracy - High Keyboards Lead
Darin - Bongos
Brian - Clanking sound (2 small pipes)
Mike - Flute
Dave Galgano - Chimes

Sugar Snow

(Little House in the Prarie fans know this is from the first book in the series Little House in the Big Woods. I made my mom read these books to me year after year and besides Laura Ingalls Wilder being my first hero, these stories brought me incredible joy)

"For days the sun shone and the weather was warm. There was no frost on the windows in the morning. All day icicles fell, one by one from the eaves with soft smashing and crackling sounds in the snow banks beneath. The trees shook their wet black branches and chunks of snow fell down" The snow did not glitter
It was soft and tired
Why is it sugar snow?

It was nothing, but wet on her tongue
It was like any other snow
She was glad that no one had seen her taste it

"Laura stood at the window and watched Pa, big and swift and strong, walking away over the snow. his gun was on his shoulder, his hatchet on his side and his tall boots made great tracks in the snow. She watched him 'till he disappeared into the big woods" - quotes from Little House in the Big Woods

Over-Ray-Tet

(This is a jab at a singer I can hardly say I dated. He pronounced his words dramatically and the title is mocking the poor fella. No joke, I know this is how he would sing overated)

Picked a pedal
Kissed it once, fed it to the wind
crossed my heart, swore to god
Plucked the spite within

Fingered trust, begged for space
Painted patience red
Drew a face, dressed the shell
Shook the fool instead
Tasted like a chance
Wasted on a whim
Sifted through the senseless
And lifted up the guilt

Put dull down
Praised the tongue
Tasted timely joy, borrowed heart
Grieved at loss
ignored reason's voice

Grumpy Tongue

(This was a single white female situation where I was being stalked and somehow still made to feel like I was the bad guy. For some reason live , this song always made me the most upset and I would fall apart every damn time I sang it)

I believe you are sorry
I believe you are wrong
So you can't change the past
I hope I said, what I said
What I hope to say

I wish you nothing

I believe you are always
I believe that is what's real
This does not make it right

I build it up and you knock it down

I believe you are hurting
I believe i don't care
You can't change the past
You will not make me cry

Elevator Syndrome

(Yeah yeah yeah....the world....more robots... but not me damn it. They call it Elevator Syndrome when people are in a room together and everyone pretends that nobody else is actually in the same room with them. I hear if you make eye contact, no less smile... humans may attack)

I've tried
To look into their eyes
Or smile
But honestly
I don't know why I bother

Nobody ever looks back
Nobody ever looks up
Like some odd human code

We continue on, as if to say
We live in this world
And it does not contain you
But
I do not exist alone

You will not make me cry